Written by a contemplative practicing applied forgiveness as taught by A Course In Miracles, which after many years evolved spontaneously into non-dual self-inquiry.
May we all come to know our Self as the everlasting peace that passeth all understanding.
I muse a lot about different forms of my rage and self hatred on this blog. All the so-called problems, moods, judgments....we know they are all thinly-veiled forms of rage and hatred.
We know because we are good students. We've studied hard and well. We are not fooled like we used to be. Still, our understanding doesn't pay the mortage, so to speak. Forgivness pays the mortage.
Forgiveness gets more necessary the more understanding we have. Irony! You may have noticed that I (and you) find myself facing unadulterated MURDEROUS rage....the kind that inspired the "Twinkie defense" and 9/10ths of what the world regards as "news" more often than I wish. Yes, "after all these years" on the spiritual journey, I sometimes mutter with a proverbial sigh. It seems like I'm beside myself with strong feelings of various forms of, shall we say, unpleasantness, every other day or so.
And in between these states, I experience more states of Peace.
Let's go in deep together, ok? Let's reeeealllllly look.
Let's take off the gloves we wear to to keep our hands clean. Let's take off the rosy glasses we've worn to hide the ugliness from ourselves. Let's remove the spiritual platitudes we've tatooed over our thoughts -- we thought that was erasing them when really it was protecting them -- so we can finally see the ugly ones they sit on top of. Let's stop believing our own PR about how spiritual we are. Let's stop drinking the kool-aid...or the lemonade we thought we were being spiritually evolved to make out of all the sour lemons we manifested. Let's stop putting lipstick of various pleasant-looking shades on the dirty pig that is the ego in an effort to make something that can only be horrific when seen for what it is seem "not so bad."
Let's really open the closets and doors of our minds. After all our efforts, it's STILL there. The ego. Doing the same things o…
I thought this was a beautiful summary of what seems to happen as we undo our old attachments and how our existing relationships can be uncomfortable to others, and confusing to us, as we shift. The Course In Miracles cautions that we not abandon our relationships as we make this turn, for they are simply being set right, and it feels awkward for a while when the old (ego) purpose for them is not working anymore.
"Don't make demonstrations of your spirituality....Out of your Quietness you see you don't need any preparations to meet any human being. It will be fresh. Trust yourself." -- Mooji