Showing posts from June, 2012

Shadow Figures Vs The Guru

Chapter 17, Forgiveness & The Holy Relationship, Section 3 Shadows of the Past -- 
"Be willing to forgive the Son of God for what he did not do. The shadow figures are the witnesses you bring with you to demonstrate he did what he did not. Because you bring them, you will hear them. And you who keep them by your own selection do not understand how they came into your mind, and what their purpose is. They represent the evil that you think was done to you. You bring them with you only that you may return evil for evil, hoping that their witness will enable you to think guiltily of another and not harm yourself. They speak so clearly for the separation that no one not obsessed with keeping separation could hear them. They offer you the "reasons" why you should enter into unholy alliances to support the ego's goals, and make your relationships the witness to its power."

One day not long ago, I was soaking my body in a hot tub and using the quiet to watch the chur…

David Hoffmeister: Facing the Self Hatred and Rage

I muse a lot about different forms of my rage and self hatred on this blog.  All the so-called problems, moods, judgments....we know they are all thinly-veiled forms of rage and hatred.

We know because we are good students. We've studied hard and well. We are not fooled like we used to be. Still, our understanding doesn't pay the mortage, so to speak.  Forgivness pays the mortage.

Forgiveness gets more necessary the more understanding we have.  Irony!  You may have noticed that I (and you) find myself facing unadulterated MURDEROUS rage....the kind that inspired the "Twinkie defense" and 9/10ths of what the world regards as "news" more often than I wish. Yes, "after all these years" on the spiritual journey, I sometimes mutter with a proverbial sigh. It seems like I'm beside myself with strong feelings of various forms of, shall we say, unpleasantness, every other day or so.

And in between these states, I experience more states of Peace.

On a…

Heaven's Peace

Heaven's Peace
by Laura S. Dudenbostel
Photo: Paul S. Olsen

Heaven's Peace
V1 You who seemed to hurt me And you I watched desert me You are my Self
And you I took as lover, And you I made my savior, You are my Self
Chorus: I roamed for eons In a house of Mirrors Looking for the exit Pointing accusing fingers
You played your part for me  -- You with your many faces Reflecting a crazy world The one I chose to see
And Now I'm ready  Oh so  ready For Heaven's Peace

V2 So tonight I finally thank You Tonight I finally Bless You You are my Self
Just like Christmas morning I found your Gifts Outside my door You are my Self
Chorus: I'm  tasting Freedom Let's all Get Drunk on It There's a Glass for all of us And They never empty
If I  sober up Will you, please, remind me Of the Quiet Answer The One that's Always Here
And I am Asking I am ready For Heaven's Peace

Dramas, anxiety, and gnat leg hairs

Oh, the little dramas that play out in my mind.  It's a constant stream of interpretation, an attempt to assign some meaning to the meaningless. Often, the little clues and signs, stories and events get strung together by my mind like beads on a necklace.  I put them together, then put them on. I wear them out and about, like a dime store wardrobe accessory that identifies me to others in that moment.

The accessory announces -- "I'm the person who knows something, has assessed a situation accurately, who has been slighted somehow or who has slighted someone else, who needs to worry about her child, worry about her future, who needs to fix a situation, heal a person, make amends for the past, etc. etc. etc."

Yes, it's all a sneaky way to make "me" -- the little 'I' -- right by making someone else wrong.   Sometimes, though, it's all about making "me" wrong, thus reinforcing the idea "I'm bad."    Either way, since &qu…