The Post-Game Review with the Holy Spirit

When I get to the end of an ego hangover...when the storm has passed, the waves have calmed, the sun shines once again...that's when I am pretty sure I'm nuts. How is it that I can enter into such states -- such despair, such heart-wrenching remorse and guilt, such fear?

There is probably a pharmaceutical for this, but I will stick to my vitamins. That's as far as I'm willing to go down the pill road.  There are no pills for what ails me.  What ails me is a false identity. 

As ACIM says, "Kindness created me Kind."  To be in all my relationships with no needs other than "accepting the Atonement for myself" -- or remembering Who I Am by seeing only Love in You/Me -- that is my goal.  That's the only game in town.

Every day is a chance to recommit to this goal.  In truth, there's no yesterday to be stacked against us.  We're just reliving the one instant of separation over and over and over and over.  It's the same instant!  But at any time, when our readiness is in place, we can Choose Again.

"Going nuts" out on the field temporarily gives us a window into the darkness that we're still harboring. There are still beliefs in there that -- despite all our understanding thus far -- we haven't released.

So that's the value of handing over your "going nuts" insanity play to the Holy Spirit.  It's like a post-game review:

Holy Spirit (thumb pressing 'pause' on the remote control):  "You see there?  You see where you tried to do an end-game run by trying to fake out your opponent with a calm demeanor (see your face) while you were holding onto a hateful judgment?  That's your favorite move, but we've gone over this...it doesn't get you to the goal."

Me: (munching the popcorn) "Hmm..yes, I see that.  I'm actually dragging us backward on the field, aren't I..."

H.S.:  "Yes!  Now you are seeing what I'm seeing!  Good!  Now next time, just remember  -- I am with you -- look for Me on the sidelines.  When I see you going off course, I am going to give you a signal, and then you click your heels together and say 'there's no place like Home'."

Me:  "Um, you are kidding right?"

H.S.:  ::chuckle:: "yeah, I was kidding about that last part, although for some people that works.  But the signal for us will be when you don't feel Peace.  Then step back from the scene, and let's huddle.  I'll help you join your mind with Mine again -- if you will let Me -- and then you'll be back in business right away..."

Me:  "Right away? Wait, but won't that take a lot of time? I mean, what if I'm in the middle of something important?"

H.S.: "You mean, like an 'important' disagreement?"

Me: "Well, maybe -- like what if there's a decision to be made right away?!"

H.S:  "Trust me, there's never a decision to be made right away. You need do nothing. That's an old ego ploy.  You join with me kid -- we'll huddle for a bit -- and everything will be fine. It will take just an instant, a Holy Instant."

Me: "Okay, but then I get all mushy and soft inside and I don't want to play anymore.  I just want to bliss-out in my Mind with you."

H.S:  "Right!  Well, The Game we are playing has different rules than the ones you keep trying to use.  As I keep trying to teach you, it is all about 'blissing-out in your Mind with Me' but you get to do it with your Brothers in your projected World.  So you'll get the hang of our huddle when the heat is on....you will, honest!  I have Faith in You, and I am never wrong.  And then you'll see how much fun it will be to make those pretty circles on the field around Me -- all you Brothers, holding hands and singing and blissing-out in the Love. 

"....It will be much more fun than taking up sides, running until you want to hack your lungs up, and then tackling each other until you're broken and bruised."

Me:  "I'm assuming you said that because I'm still nursing an emotional black eye?"

H.S.:  ::wink::

H.S.:  "More popcorn?"






Comments

  1. Thank you, Laura, for being willing to share your journey and insights with us! Wow...this is a fabulous "write up!"
    Love you! Eilleen

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