Showing posts from December, 2011

The Ease of Acceptance

I have had the best realization:  I have been making the whole issue of forgiveness waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy too hard. 

I've been hanging out with Jesus/Holy Spirit/Source in my mind a lot lately.  But this time in the form of Ramana Maharshi, inspired by a couple dreams and a book. 

My time spent in this non-doing has turned out to be like a radical inversion of the world's Occupy movement.  As I Occupy my mind with my Friend, instead of protesting all the corruption and chaos I see in my mind and world, we -- my bud Ramana and I -- just smile at it and Accept it all.

Yes, that's what I said. I am Accepting everything.  That is to say, I am not resisting, fixing, analyzing, or even forgiving. (although I actually am...but I'm not trying to forgive.) 

Now this might seem too simple, but I'll tell you what -- it's addicting.  When I wake up feeling angst-y about the thing I should have done, or the thing I shouldn't have said, or the thoughts about past or futu…

Broken Windows, Part II

This post series is about Broken Windows.  The metaphor comes from an inspired message that came to me a few years ago, as I entered a new phase in relinquishment. It led to endings and tear-downs and the seeming sacrifice of several identities formerly revered by me (and any who share my conditioning) no less than the sacred cows in India.

My Teachers shared a challenging truth with me as the demolition was picking up steam -- "Sometimes you have to break a window to let the Light come in.  But it's okay. You can just pick up the pieces."

This news startled me, and I was not in the mood, just then, to be startled. I see now that I secretly harbored a childish attitude towards my practice that went something like -- "If I am a very good girl and do my Forgiveness lessons every day, I can avoid bad stuff...or at least get through it faster and with fewer scrapes and bruises."  That was the fuel under my dedication to study A Course in Miracles for many years. I…

The Post-Game Review with the Holy Spirit

When I get to the end of an ego hangover...when the storm has passed, the waves have calmed, the sun shines once again...that's when I am pretty sure I'm nuts. How is it that I can enter into such states -- such despair, such heart-wrenching remorse and guilt, such fear?

There is probably a pharmaceutical for this, but I will stick to my vitamins. That's as far as I'm willing to go down the pill road.  There are no pills for what ails me.  What ails me is a false identity. 

As ACIM says, "Kindness created me Kind."  To be in all my relationships with no needs other than "accepting the Atonement for myself" -- or remembering Who I Am by seeing only Love in You/Me -- that is my goal.  That's the only game in town.

Every day is a chance to recommit to this goal.  In truth, there's no yesterday to be stacked against us.  We're just reliving the one instant of separation over and over and over and over.  It's the same instant!  But at a…

Looking for meaning in all the wrong places

Broken windows Part 2 will have to wait a while.  This blogger has been lost in the ego's world, no matter how much she intellectually, and from experience, knows better than to fall for the bait. 

But I did feel my way into a startlingly deeper understanding about one thing -- my lack of Peace is directly related to my actively resisting it. Pushing it away, even. In the frantic mind I seem to possess lately, I have had many "good reasons" floating around as justification for my state of dis-ease.  When tolerance for the pain is low, I call out for that lifeline.  "Holy Spirit, HELP!"  But He just keeps showing me, I have given all the meaning that the situation(s) have.  I'm choosing to believe my perceptions and my feelings -- that they are true and justified --  more than I believe God's Truth. 

Okay, so we got that settled. Again.

It might seem easy to "let go and let God" once we see the choice so clearly. And sometimes it is for me. Bu…