Showing posts from 2011

The Ease of Acceptance

I have had the best realization:  I have been making the whole issue of forgiveness waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy too hard. 

I've been hanging out with Jesus/Holy Spirit/Source in my mind a lot lately.  But this time in the form of Ramana Maharshi, inspired by a couple dreams and a book. 

My time spent in this non-doing has turned out to be like a radical inversion of the world's Occupy movement.  As I Occupy my mind with my Friend, instead of protesting all the corruption and chaos I see in my mind and world, we -- my bud Ramana and I -- just smile at it and Accept it all.

Yes, that's what I said. I am Accepting everything.  That is to say, I am not resisting, fixing, analyzing, or even forgiving. (although I actually am...but I'm not trying to forgive.) 

Now this might seem too simple, but I'll tell you what -- it's addicting.  When I wake up feeling angst-y about the thing I should have done, or the thing I shouldn't have said, or the thoughts about past or futu…

Broken Windows, Part II

This post series is about Broken Windows.  The metaphor comes from an inspired message that came to me a few years ago, as I entered a new phase in relinquishment. It led to endings and tear-downs and the seeming sacrifice of several identities formerly revered by me (and any who share my conditioning) no less than the sacred cows in India.

My Teachers shared a challenging truth with me as the demolition was picking up steam -- "Sometimes you have to break a window to let the Light come in.  But it's okay. You can just pick up the pieces."

This news startled me, and I was not in the mood, just then, to be startled. I see now that I secretly harbored a childish attitude towards my practice that went something like -- "If I am a very good girl and do my Forgiveness lessons every day, I can avoid bad stuff...or at least get through it faster and with fewer scrapes and bruises."  That was the fuel under my dedication to study A Course in Miracles for many years. I…

The Post-Game Review with the Holy Spirit

When I get to the end of an ego hangover...when the storm has passed, the waves have calmed, the sun shines once again...that's when I am pretty sure I'm nuts. How is it that I can enter into such states -- such despair, such heart-wrenching remorse and guilt, such fear?

There is probably a pharmaceutical for this, but I will stick to my vitamins. That's as far as I'm willing to go down the pill road.  There are no pills for what ails me.  What ails me is a false identity. 

As ACIM says, "Kindness created me Kind."  To be in all my relationships with no needs other than "accepting the Atonement for myself" -- or remembering Who I Am by seeing only Love in You/Me -- that is my goal.  That's the only game in town.

Every day is a chance to recommit to this goal.  In truth, there's no yesterday to be stacked against us.  We're just reliving the one instant of separation over and over and over and over.  It's the same instant!  But at a…

Looking for meaning in all the wrong places

Broken windows Part 2 will have to wait a while.  This blogger has been lost in the ego's world, no matter how much she intellectually, and from experience, knows better than to fall for the bait. 

But I did feel my way into a startlingly deeper understanding about one thing -- my lack of Peace is directly related to my actively resisting it. Pushing it away, even. In the frantic mind I seem to possess lately, I have had many "good reasons" floating around as justification for my state of dis-ease.  When tolerance for the pain is low, I call out for that lifeline.  "Holy Spirit, HELP!"  But He just keeps showing me, I have given all the meaning that the situation(s) have.  I'm choosing to believe my perceptions and my feelings -- that they are true and justified --  more than I believe God's Truth. 

Okay, so we got that settled. Again.

It might seem easy to "let go and let God" once we see the choice so clearly. And sometimes it is for me. Bu…

Broken windows -- Part 1

Let's get heavy here, shall we?

As we've agreed before, the undoing process is not for sissies.  It requires that we question every value that we hold.  It requires that we let the Holy Spirit interpret everything for us.  It requires great Trust.

When we start, however, these  requirements seem like the equivalent of sprouting wings on demand and flying to the moon.  We have all kinds of limitations, and, worse, when our awareness begins to shift, we begin to notice a lot more than we ever knew we had.

 We have thoughts like, "DAMN!  Before I started trying to get spiritual, I thought I was basically a happy person. Now I see how insecure and hateful I am.  This can not be good.  Maybe I should go back to practicing Reiki.... Ommm......."

But we tried all the other ways, and here we are again. It's understandable why we react like we do. We are just a touch (like a ton-of-bricks "touch") horrified when we get glimpses of how our lives, thus far, have …

The Cherry On Top

A Course In Miracles teaches us not to try to change the world, but to change our mind about the world.  So Occupy Wall Street becomes Occupy The Right Mind.  Once you are in your Right Mind (the part that the Holy Spirit occupies) then whatever you do, including the act of doing nothing, will be the most loving thing for all involved.

What's more, you'll be the Teacher you always wanted to be of the learning that you always wanted to learn: True Peace.

Since the cause of the world is in our mind (the world being just "a projection of an inward condition"), when we change the cause (i.e. when we allow ourselves to step into our Right Mind and grab Jesus's hand...and just look at our experience and the images of people, situations, and things that we have been interpreting through the ego), we heal our mind.  That means the effects (i.e. how we feel in the moment about the situation and all the images we have forgiven) change, too. 

What it doesn't mean, howe…

Lucid Dreamers Know "I Am That"

It's been a seeming few weeks in time since I felt inspired to share here. I don't know how it's been for you the last couple months, but I've been on a whirlwind mind trip.  It's taken me 5,000 miles across country, 40 years back in time, and at least 500,000 miles across the landscape of my so-called mind.

To describe:  It's like the familiar orbit I have called "normal" that my mind naturally takes -- the circular movement of my thought as it spirals up towards truth (and sometimes down out of fear) -- has sped up.

This is the motion that is meant when I talk about those switchbacks up the mountain, where I learn and relearn (and re-relearn) old lessons.  It's the same movement that leads me to occasional breakdowns and breakthroughs.  This movement which has been gently rolling along since I have had the awareness to notice has been put on "spin cycle."

I did not get the memo this was going to happen, but I suppose there is no way t…

This blog is far too serious! Another interview with Ken Wapnick

This was just the medicine I needed as an antidote.. to my latest case of serious-itis. Please enjoy this more recent interview with Ken Wapnick, where he reminds us not to be make the ego serious, not to make the Course into a religion, and not to make waking up a goal. (Damn...there goes my over-achiever part again.)   It's another beautiful chat with Susan Dugan, shared on her blog Forays In Forgiveness.... thank you, Susan!  --L

A conversation with Ken Wapnick: Have I mentioned you’re too serious?Mar 14th, 2011
by sudugan. 13Share Renowned Psychologist, Teacher, and Author Kenneth Wapnick, PhD, has been studying, teaching, and writing about A Course in Miracles since 1973, and worked closely with Course Scribe Helen Schucman and Collaborator Bill Thetford in preparing its final manuscript. With his wife, Gloria, he is president and co-founder of The Foundation for A Course in Miracles ( in Temecula, California.
OK, so admittedly I did mos…

The Tree of Death vs The Tree of Life

I revisit old themes today.  That is the nature of switchbacks...

We woke this morning to drippy rain-mist (Pacific Northwesterners know what this means) and chilled air that required a small fire in the kitchen stove to warm. Fall's unmistakable calling cards remind me that the wind-up game "reality" is turning another corner, as the illusion of constant change continues.  Summer, while not dead yet, is like a feeble old man. Where once he blazed in the skies like a god, heating the earth and our lives on it, giving life to its seeds and gathering unto himself his devoted worshippers (we in our sunglasses and sunscreen), now his strength has waned and he is hardly able to chew his own food.

Summer, I acknowledge again, has gone the way of all worldly things...

I sipped my coffee and, like I always do, forded, mostly blind, my somewhat weary way through the murky river of thoughts that always seem to challenge me when I wake from sleep.  It's like the storm drain ha…

Ken Wapnick Interview from 2010 - The Quiet Center

The following is an interview with Ken Wapnick held in 2010 by Susan Dugan who has a lovely blog I found a few weeks ago. Visit Susan’s ACIM blog, Foray’s in Forgiveness. I thank her for sharing this experience with us and hope you are as inspired by their conversation as I am. --L

The Quiet Center: An interview with Ken Wapnickby Susan DuganDuring a recent visit to The Foundation for A Course in Miracles in Temecula, California to attend a workshop with friend and fellow Course student Deb Shelly, I interviewed premier Course scholar Ken Wapnick, PhD, about his journey with the Course.I wanted to know how Ken perceived his role in communicating the Course’s unique message, how he viewed awakening, how he avoided specialness, how he handled celebrity, and how his application of forgiveness has evolved since his early days with Helen and Bill. His answers may surprise you as much as they did us.I have never been around an enlightened being — my teenage daughter notwithstanding …

My study group is in my mind.

One of the things that my little study group appears to debate on a regular basis is the ego.  Specifically, is it all bad? Or can it be, as some teachers suggest, turned into a "willing servant" of the spirit?

 It seems to me we often tailspin on a matter of semantics, although my attempts to clarify terminology have never been terribly helpful. Ironically, Course In Miracles students often love to make careers over arguing about such points, instead of allowing Jesus/Holy Spirit to help us use the situation to forgive our desire to be right.

It's like we students, who suffer from a bad case of "good intentions" while our egos have us by the throat, say, in as politically correct way  as we can muster ('cuz we're hoping that we won't be found out!), "Screw practicing forgiveness! Let's argue about forgiveness! My definition of forgiveness is way better than your definition of forgiveness, you, you, evil separation-lover!!"

::I must p…

What if....

What if a light switch in you were flicked on, and suddenly you saw "you" staring back at you in everyone/everything you met?

(If all is One then this must be True.)

What if the only reason you don't have that experience NOW is that you are holding on to a belief that something was created that was not All Good?

(Even though you have read, studied, believed, and practiced that Only the Truth Is True, a little part in you resists accepting what must Be....temporarily.)

What if you decided one day (or now) -- "Enough is enough!" -- and you knew you needed to own your experience of "not love" and this led you to accepting responsibility without judgment for all the images you think you think (or see, or remember)?

("The course does not aim at teaching you love for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim at removing the blocks to Love's presence." ACIM)

What if you took a fresh view of your vain imaginings -- the deaths, the Hitler…